Wednesday, May 19, 2010

We'd Do It With a Lizard in a Blizzard

Harvey Fierstein as A. Camp in H. M. Koutoukas' "Christopher at Sheridan Squared" directed by Donald L. Brooks at the Performing Garage, November 1971

Mr. Fierstein's first male role, as Arnold Camp, a role representative of the playwright H. M. Koutoukas in which he performed the song:

"We'd Do It With A Lizard in a Blizzard"

In the beginning there was the Verb
We do it cause it's there
And it needs filling -- Jelly donut
No withholding...

No, listen baby maybe --

Subjects get predicated
Bon bons like cellophane bags
Only get deficated -- it's on on on on
In to get out toward warmth then air out

A woman may say no - no - no --
But she can't say no to Darlin' Darwin
Cause he knows she done it with a lizard
Fingernails show she's done it even with a gator
Like her husband Mother --

God knows what slimey creature first
Proved cold-blooded is cold as ice
Yah -- something made those links go out missin'
Those links they grooved on hissin'
When they saw your Mother evolutin'
Somethin's going down there

Claws caress her hair -- and gator's still are cold
If your Mother one time ain't worked a lizard
How did she get so warm-blooded

(As Arnold Camp does tango, cult creatures gather under around ceiling, between rails, join in -- it becomes a non-touch slither).


From some reptile you've some recoil
That's because your Darling Darwin
Caught you knowin' without sayin'
Maybe just jokin' -- but knowing all the same
Those links weren't missing those links weren't lame they just wanted
To get out of that snake-making game --

King Cobra -- jeweled and made sober
Called his Auntie Conda -- and after a talk with Little Mary Whann
He placed the apple high in the tree, man met woman
They both were warm --but the gizzard to the brow-bone of Costa Cobra
Remains cold as the silence of your Mother's secret
That she'd do it with a Stone at Stonehenge --
To keep alive some rock and so
The Lizard never knew nor your Father
That her quiet was not virtue but remembrance by his fingernail
That she'd invited in a reptile to spend some generations
In the family's cell -- and was it Mr. Barrie
Creature of that fainting fairy and Peter (Cock-a-doodle-doo) Pan
Then it's gonna' be a Halloween when all hell broke loose, it
Was an openin' and a closin' that sent an Express train lookin' Florentine
of course your ass runs by itself like
Cinderella's Mother, queen of a land where sometimes
To pay for the mistakes made...
Mistakes... are maid.

There is no such thing as an accident -- unless an accident...
I was of even of the more mannish document...
it's a shrinking slip
To pay the maid to take the blame.

-- H. M. Koutoukas
Christopher at Sheridan Squared
Harvey Fierstein as Arnold Camp observes Cobra Cult dance choreographed by James Waring performed by Bryan Hayes and Cobra Cult in H M Koutoukas Christopher at Sheridan Squared directed by Donald L Brooks.

1 comment:

Lisa Jane Persky said...

Thank you for posting this, Donald!